Summary: We established the 8 week agenda - I want to trust my inner knowing and speak my truth.

This session, at the prospect of speaking my truth to my partner, I was able to move from feeling contraction, distrust and rushed, to feeling a slower, connected breath, a clear knowing and a larger, more expansive inner world.

Summary: Client felt relief and found purpose.

Today I replaced the old story: I feel pressure to know what I want from this relationship; do I want to have kids?

The new story is: I feel relieved that its ok not to know.

And I do know, that being present is currently my purpose.

Summary: Client gained clarity, its ok to speak their needs.

This session I realized, that its okay, and necessary to speak to my needs.

Relationships where I give, without having my own needs met, are not sustainable.

By slowing down and speaking my needs, I create an opportunity to be seen.

My old story was: I wont speak my truth, because when I do, it gets brushed aside.

And now, at the prospect of speaking my truth, I feel light and I have clarity.

Summary: Client realizes they can hold their partners strong emotion during conflict.

Today we explored my needs. When its time to get my needs met, I ask them if they have capacity for a conversation and I say clearly what I need. I then ask, “Can you do that for me?”

When I hold space for them, I can hold their emotion with compassion, whilst at the same time, maintaining my expansive, spacious, slow, center.

Summary: Client has breakthrough and can now confidently resolve conflict.

Between weeks 4 and 5, my partner and I had “one of the most mature conversations I have ever had”.

I was able to hold my partners strong emotion, bring her back to presence and get to the core of the issue. The conversation was clear, grounding and honest. I now feel lighter and I have clarity.

The “where are we headed in the relationship” topic gets less intense, when I am attuned to myself, to her and to the world around me. And I can hold it.

Summary: Client reinforces their new access to healthy masculinity when resolving conflict.

In todays session, I devised a more effective way of staying safe when strong emotion is present, I just come back to the breath and access my integrated masculine.

When I bring my integrated masculine, I can hold whatever the future brings (including the possibility of being alone).

The integrated masculine is a great place to have a conversation from.

“When I blossom, I want you, but I dont necessarily need you.”

Summary: Client feels confident to have the challenging conversations and speak their truth.

I now have the resources & the strength to speak my truth; I can have the challenging conversation with my partner (about whether we should have kids).

I expect there will be anger or sadness from my partner when I speak my honest truth and I can hold that emotion and still feel expansive.

Summary: Client established the 8 week agenda - to stop over thinking.

Today was about giving my brain a rest and getting in touch with a deeper wisdom, an inner knowing.

I had an embodied experience: my path is from head, to heart, and then to gut, where inner knowing lives.

I realized that there is a part of me that “just knows”.

We visualized me being in the awkward situations with people that I don’t gel with, taking a brief timeout, centering myself and bring that energy to the situation.

By the end of todays session, the fog in my brain had cleared!

Summary: Client gains confidence holding another’s strong emotion.

When I go to my still place, my center, the path becomes clearer.

I can take some space to go to that still place energy in and before awkward situations.

I can hold their emotions (even if those are strong or uncomfortable emotions), as I do, my awkwardness lightens, then disappears.

Summary: Client commits to getting his own needs met, by communicating skillfully.

I now realize the importance of getting my needs met, and those of my partner.  I will communicate skillfully, from my still place, so that together we can find a way to get our needs met.

Actually, my true needs don’t seem selfish after all. 

Rather than being on a rollercoaster of emotions, I am the rollercoaster.  Here I have more control, and the intensity of emotions reduces, I find acceptance.

If a strong emotion needs to be expressed by the people (riding the roller coaster), then that’s what needs to happen, I can hold it and afterwards there will be a feeling of release.

Summary: Client has taken new found confidence out into the real world and resolves conflict skillfully.

After our last session I surprised myself, how I was able to stay calm, in my centered still place, when my partner had a strong emotion. We were able to resolve our conflict in a way that worked for both of us, “we had harmony”.

I held space for her and she felt heard. 

Todays session was about learning to trust my inner knowing.

Sometimes I know what I should do, but I don’t do it. 

Its like, I don’t like receiving unsolicited advice from my inner knowing.

It might be interesting to ask myself for advice.  Because actually, my inner knowing helps me cut through the fog & the path becomes clearer.

Summary: Client accesses inner wisdom and gains clarity.

Between sessions, I have had the wisdom to step back and look at the situation realistically. I was able to stop and ask myself for inner wisdom.

I also surprised myself, going on a work trip, meeting lots of people and having positive experiences.

In todays session I wanted clarity on a big life decision: stay here or move house.

I realised that “acceptance is a path with the least resistance.”

“I can accept that emotions ebb and flow. Rather than ruminate, I can accept.”

When I take in the whole picture, I see that I am not ready to move house.

To be continued…

Summary: Client established the 5 week agenda - To stop people pleasing and speak my truth.

My limiting belief: If I’m authentic and speak my truth, there will be disapproval & conflict.

So my old people pleasing story was: I need to control the feelings of others, so I can feel safe.

My new belief: “I maintain my power and self-respect, while allowing others their own feelings.”

Today we created an inner tool, a protective “power shell”, to feel strong. To speak my truth.

“I can allow other people their own emotions, whilst staying in my own power.”

“I am free to be myself, independent of how others feel”

Summary: Client embodies an inner tool, that provides strength and safety.

Ensuring everyone was happy (at my expense) is something I learned from mum.

Rather than taking responsibility for everyone’s emotions, ensuring nobody gets upset, today my inner protector came up with a more effective method: being compassionate for the other person.

We reinforced my new beliefs embodying them into my new “power shell of protection.”

A place where I create my own safety, through monitoring my capacity, my needs, my available time, my priorities, my values, then I speak my authentic truth.  When I do this, I feel strong powerful, authentic and most of all, I respect myself!

Summary: Client learns to stay in his power, even when the other person gets upset.

When friends would ask to catch up and I didn’t really have time, I would say yes, instead of no. I would then feel wishy washy, inauthentic and shame around not valuing myself.

Now, I create a protective armor power shell around me, check in side what I need in that moment, and speak to those needs: “I would love to however, I need some downtime, so lets catch up another time when I have capacity”.

They can have their reaction. Its ok if they get upset or disapprove. Its ok, I have my power shell and my self-respect.

Their reaction is theirs to work on. My work is to stay in my power.

Summary: Client stands up to his partner and speaks his truth.

All week I have had this contraction in my abdomen, there is something I was scared to share all week, then the contraction moved to my heart, and then I shared what I needed to share.  After speaking to it for a few minutes, all the pain disappeared. I listened to my needs and my body responded!

Initially I started small, speaking my truth with people who were on my outer circle. Now I stand firm, when my partner wants something that I’m not prepared to give! (And she respects me!)

Summary: Client completes this part of his journey: no more people pleasing

The week we practiced non-violent communication, so I can speak my truth with compassion.

Insights included:

I no longer worry if the relationship might end in the future, I can speak my truth because “I will be ok, whatever happens.”

This week we reinforced my new method: I stop and ask myself, what are my needs? I take action from that place, and get my needs met.  Self respect flows from there!

When its time to speak my truth with mum & with my partner, I put on my power shell and just do it. I have the conversation with strength and compassion!

With my outer circle, I dont even need my power shell any more, I can easily say no when I mean no.